In the middle of the stomping

Loving God of all goodness and the Grace that I so desperately need, I come to you this day in a quite prayer of thankfulness for your providence and protective presence. Even if I cannot feel it, I know that you are there. Even if it seems like everything is going wrong, I know that you are with me. Be with, those I pray who are experiencing a difficult and challenging day, far more than me. I am mindful of all those who are oppressed and imprisoned, discriminated or hated. I pray for justice, help and relief, healing and consolation for all those in need today... I pray your nearness, and if it seems right to you, give me a small confirmation of your presence. For you know that I am always in need of your encouragement. In your great Name, I pray. Amen.

Psalm 69

Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck.

I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me.

I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God.

More in number than the hairs of my head are those who hate me without cause; many are those who would destroy me, my enemies who accuse me falsely. What I did not steal must I now restore?

O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you.

I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving.

This will please the Lord more than an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs.

Let the oppressed see it and be glad; you who seek God, let your hearts revive.

For the Lord hears the needy, and does not despise his own that are in bonds.

Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves in them.

For God will save Zion and rebuild the cities of Judah; and his servants shall live there and possess it;

the children of his servants shall inherit it, and those who love his name shall live in it.

We have all been there. Those days come along when the toilet clogs, gravity seems stronger on random items, you rip a favorite article of clothing (maybe in an embarrassing seam!),...the incidents and accidents seem to far outnumber anything good happening. While in the middle of running late or after breaking your favorite mug, you start to lose it. No longer is it just a "bad day." Then you might, after hearing more bad news, have an adult temper tantrum. If you are usually in control and calm, it can feel even worse. Then, in the middle of the stomping, or screaming, door slamming, etc. you get a glimpse of yourself or realize what you might look like.

I think these an similar moments are the answers to prayers that we don't like to label as such. When we might ask for control, God wants us to see that we are not in control. When we ask for things to be perfect and in line, God shows us that Kingdom work is messy and Creation is supposed to be wild.

Yes, it takes a bit of spiritual discipline to listen or be open at all in these times, but I find that often after I have overreacted, there is a natural moment of taking stock of what just happened. God has wired us to learn from our failures. We are not supposed to try to carry too much. The work of ministry typically boils down to surrender and stewardship. These types of moments help us to grow along surrendering our problems and difficulties to God. 

"It is not in my control. I surrender it all to you. Clearly I am no where near able to handle this."